


This Painful Forever

by Oaklin



Series: Forever Everything [51]
Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Kayfabe Compliant, Like Whoa, M/M, Not-Dates Gone Terribly Wrong, Or twenty, Swearing, Unhealthy Relationships, anyway, are those considered two separate things?, bby!Steen needed a good bar of soap in his mouth, doesn't that fall under swearing?, fucking tiny baby disasters, obligatory Kevin Steen warning, offensive language, seriously, sort of, the first tag would probably cover it, well i'm tagging them separately anyway i guess, worlds worst Not-Date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-03 08:15:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,359
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10963278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oaklin/pseuds/Oaklin
Summary: Not-Dating is difficult.Especially when you arenotNot-Dating.





	This Painful Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hello hello!
> 
> Okay, so there was lots of chaos irl for me this last week, but it was manageable. The summer months are going to bite, but it's cool. I'll deal. Most of the next few parts are already written, and this little tangent is going well, so the series is well on it's way. The whole Left at the Cross Roads thing is giving me fits. I am incapable of writing romance that is simple and easily digestible and porny, I have found. Everything has to be complicated and multi layered and ridiculous. These two, man. These two <3
> 
> In related news, I think I have finally nailed down a concrete ending for this series, so that is exiting. It is subject to change, of course, but I finally got a decent idea of where this particular chapter in their life closes. I just need to actually GET there, which will undoubtedly take me a very long time, given what a rambly bastard I can be ^.^

“This is not what I was promised,” Kevin grouches indignantly, looking down his nose at the grimy booths with their faded paint and haggard attendants. One of them seemed to get the impression by his glare that he wanted to hear their bullshit sales pitch. He sneers at the idiot, turning away before the moron can launch into his stupid fucking jingle about poor-mans Skeet.

Sami grins big over the mound of cotton candy he had somehow talked Kevin into buying him. Kevin rolls his eyes at the resplendent smile, resisting the ridiculous urge to snatch the wad of spun sugar out of Sami’s mouth.

“I did say that it was Beef who said that there was a petting zoo. I suppose, in hind sight, that the information was obviously either only partially true or an outright lie,” Sami’s smile becomes hesitant, his eyes becoming hazy as he looks away from Kevin, “I just wanted-”

Losing his patience with Sami’s stuttering, and having a hard time standing in the light of Sami’s illuminate enjoyment that he had apparently found here, Kevin turns away, staring moodily out at the happy carnival goers around them as they laughed and chatted with their loved ones.

“You fucking lead me here with promises of cute animals, that never existed in the first place. Don’t you fucking blame Beef’s dumb ass for the lies that you told me. Manipulative bitch,” Kevin snarls, curling his fingers into fists at his side as Sami fails to notice the string of pink fluff stuck to his nose.

- _this is **stupid**_ -

Kevin spins on his heel, stalking away from Sami, heading for what exactly he isn’t sure. He just knows that he can’t stand here with the moron any longer.

(the fuck)

Sami splutters incoherently behind him for a moment before Kevin ears pick up the sound of hurried footsteps stumbling along in his wake.

(does **_he_ ** have to?)

- _like **he** ever wouldn't_ -

“Kevin! I’m sorry! _Wait!_ ”

Kevin doesn’t stop, because he doesn’t feel like waiting or listening to Sami prattle on. Kevin came _here_ for adorable animals. There **are** no adorable animals. Just what feels like literally everyone single person on the planet, wrapped around their fucking _**significant others**_ like it is valentines day on the last night on earth or something.

(fuck)

“The fuck didn’t you just come here with fucking _Beef_. He and you both like all this dumb childish shit. I should have just left you back at The Pitt for fucks sake,” Kevin growls out, shouldering roughly past some happy couple, stamping down the urge to reach out and swipe the ice cream cones out of their intertwines hands.

- _this place **sucks**_ -

“I didn't come here with Beef because I didn't want to come here with Beef! I wanted to come here with-” Kevin glares back at Sami and watches dispassionately as he almost gets run over by two spaced out looking old fuckers, who seem to be so completely absorbed in just leaning into each other as they waddle along, that the whole world around them just doesn’t exist outside their little bubble. Sami squeaks and darts clumsily around them, mumbling an apology that they merely nod to in response, not even looking away from whatever distant memories are in their minds, walking past the sights in favor of drinking each other in.

“Yeah, well I’d rather be in the next town already. Or here, but with the promised llamas. I don’t give a shit about toddering around some gypsy pyramid scheme with you. There is nothing in it for me,” Kevin barks, realizing slightly too late that for some reason, he had stopped, paused in between two shooting galleries.

( _wasn’t_ waiting for him)

- _seems **kinda** like you **were,** big guy_ -

( **fuck you** )

- _maybe the **two of you** should **curl** around **each other** like the rest of these **losers**_ -

Sami looks down, the hand holding the cotton candy falling to his side as his other runs across the back of his neck. His hazel eyes seem focused somewhere to the left, and Kevin wonders with a sharp flash of something hot, what exactly it is that Sami would find about the ground that is so fucking **interesting**.

(he bribed me with _amazing things_ )

(the least he can do is fucking _**look** _ at me)

(shit)

“I- I just...” Kevin tries to wait patiently, though he vaguely acknowledges that he is not making it any easier for Sami to get any words out, what with Kevin glaring steadily at the tiny ginger cunt.

Sami shakes his head, looking up at Kevin briefly with regret in his eyes, “I just wanted you to be happy.”

(great job **_idiot_** )

- _well_ -

(how the fuck was this supposed to make me _happy?_ )

(dumb bitch)

“Yeah, well you did the exact opposite. I hate this place. Look at all these dumb mother fuckers, wandering around getting cheated out of their hard earned cash and enjoying it like the brain dead retards that they are,” Kevin sneers loud enough for a pair of teenagers nearby to hear him. One of them just rolls his eyes, while his companion flips Kevin off before pulling the aforementioned boyfriend in for a gratuitous bout of tonsil hockey.

Kevin snorts derisively at their antics, rolling his eyes.

(fucking teenagers)

- _back in your day, eh?_ -

(I was never **that** much of a **_loser_** )

(don’t have **anything** to prove to fucking _anyone_ )

- _right_ -

- _ **obviously**_ -

(fuck **_you_** )

Kevin raises an eyebrow, turning to Sami, who is merely smiling at the kids. They wave, for some reason, and Sami waves back, before they cuddle up to each other and stroll off. The one that flipped Kevin off glances back, looking over his lovers shoulder and indicating Kevin with a quizzical look on his face. Sami just turns red in the face and makes an aborted gesture, that for some reason has the kid chuckling, before nodding and disappearing around the corner with his date.

(the _fuck_ was **that** all about?)

“Can you at least talk to **_me_ ** instead of having weird, incomprehensible sign language conversations with the other random goddamn people in this hellhole?” Kevin growls, stepping closer to Sami and jabbing a finger into his sternum.

Sami blinks up at Kevin, the skin of his cheeks still resplendently rosy, even in the poor lighting. Kevin fights the urge to drop his hand and back away, even as he gets _lost_ in the pained look on Sami‘s face.

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop apologizing.”

Sami opens his mouth but Kevin lets out a disgruntled growl, knowing full well that he is about to get another apology. Sami makes a distressed noise and looks at Kevin helplessly, flailing his arms as he struggles to find a single thought in his stupid head that might be intelligent.

- _bitter_ -

(No.)

“Then where do you want to go?” Sami almost wails, looking at Kevin with the non-verbal equivalent of an apology.

(which is annoying, to be quite fucking truthful)

- _not like **he** can help that **you** are a jackass_ -

( ** _he_ ** started this)

- _sure **he** did_ -

“What do you want to do that will make you happy?” Sami says, and there is a thin edge to his voice, like he is seconds away from crying. Kevin squints at him, and the moisture gathering at the corners of Sami’s eyes tells him that that is exactly what Sami is about to do.

“Don’t fucking cry. You dragged me here under false pretenses, you don’t get to be upset,” Kevin states, flattening his palm against Sami’s chest, the fabric of Sami’s shirt not thick enough to prevent the furious pulse of his heartbeat from coursing through Kevin’s fingers.

It’s interesting, the way that life flowing up from Sami’s body into the palm of Kevin’s hand, makes Kevin feel helplessly bound in the moment. It also soothes the angry restlessness he has been experiencing since they got here, for some reason. Like the lifeblood pumping anxiously through Sami’s veins is some sort of comfort, in this moment where Kevin needs no such thing.

- _soft_ -

(no)

Sami is looking at him, all big hazel eyes full of apologies that Kevin already told him he didn’t want to hear, and his posture so anxious and agitated. Kevin’s tongue feels thick in his mouth, and he while he is unsure exactly **why** that is, he _is_ sure that the answer to Sami’s question wouldn’t make it out of his mouth even if he could get his jaws to work properly.

- _such a fucking liar_ -

“Nothing here makes me happy,” Kevin gasps, like a dying man whispering the words of his undoing. He reaches up with his free hand, finally swiping the thin seam of pink spun sugar from it's resting place on the bridge of Sami's nose. Kevin watches Sami balk and go slightly cross eyed at the gesture, wondering if his skin is as hypnotizing to Sami, as Sami's is to him. Just standing here, his palm against Sami's chest, he feels like he is drifting away, in a sea of - ** _want_** \- and his isn't sure if he could make it back if he tried. He is sure, in this moment, that this feels like his own personal hell, for the heartbeat of silence between them after he speaks. Sami’s eyes are wide, and the tears are still there, pooled in the corners of Sami’s eyes ready to fall.

Kevin tries to breath in the stillness between them as he stamps down the hysterical urge to reach out and brush the wetness from Sami’s freckled skin-

( _shit_ )

( **fuck** )

( ** _wait_** )

“Can we at least ride the Ferris wheel once before we go?” Sami asks, his voice brittle, though not with his earlier regretful atonement.

Which doesn’t bother Kevin as much as it probably should. In fact, he sort of **hated** seeing the regret on Sami face. Even if the regret in question was _specifically_ because Sami had angered Kevin and had nothing to do with Sami **_regretting_** -

- _yessss...?_ -

(never fucking mind)

( ** _fuck_** )

Kevin heaves a breath, and realizes belatedly that he has been holding air in his lungs for quite some time. He his chest aches and he feels breathless and slightly light headed-

- _yeah_ -

- _ **that** is why_ -

-and the way Sami is looking up at him, all awestruck is not helping. Kevin can’t seem to get in enough air, what with the way that Sami is staring at him, looking mystified and crimson faced as he shuffles closer.

Kevin should tell him to back the **fuck** up.

(can’t fucking _breath_ as it is)

( ** _not_ ** going to help)

- _Sami specifically?_ -

- _him in particular being close to you, i mean_ -

- _why is **Sami** being **close to you** different than anyone else being close to you?_ -

(... _no_ )

- _ah, the mathematicians answer_ -

- _coward_ -

Kevin bunches the hand still resting on Sami’s chest into the fabric of his shirt, yanking the little dumb ass closer and putting a stop to his nervous shuffling.

- ** _where he belongs_** -

Kevin falters for a moment, closing his eyes against the way _that_ particular feeling rocks it's way through his mind, the **growl** of it reverberating through him like a title wave of - ** _need_** \- that he didn't ask for.

Sami thankfully doesn't seem to notice Kevin's internal struggle, he just squawks and reaches out, steadying himself against Kevin with a hand on Kevin’s bicep. The _heat_ in _**those fingers**_ makes Kevin flinch, and he internally groans at the way Sami stiffens in response.

“Sorry,” Sami whispers, something like fear in his tone, and Kevin grinds his teeth, because that shaky regret is back in the melody of Sami’s voice.

( _hates_ )

He **hates** it.

( ** _so much_** )

- _ **why** is **he** so...?_ -

Kevin can’t look at that dejected, _longing_ look on Sami’s face for a moment longer. He snarls under his breath, ignoring the way Sami looks down and away at the sound. Fed up with this whole goddamn incident, Kevin takes hold of Sami’s arm and spins him around roughly, shoving him back the way they came.

“Kevin?” Sami asks, startled and stumbling as Kevin steers him through the crowds of people.

People that, for some reason, earlier had haunted Kevin. Now however, he barely even notices their presence, all he can really focus on at the moment is the fact that for the time being, he had shocked the sorrow from the lilt in Sami’s voice.

It feels like an **accomplishment**.

(and for some reason it makes-)

- _...you happy?_ -

- _does it make **you happy?**_ -

(goddamn **_him_** )

“I’m not fucking sitting in one of those dingy little carriages and wobbling my way along the most boring fucking ride ever created by human kind,” Kevin says with an air of finality, leaning down and pulling in a mouthful of the overly sugary pink shit still clutched in Sami’s hand.

Sami sighs, “Okay, then I guess we’ll just go back to the car-”

“Fuck you. If you think I drove all the way out here just to turn around and leave after only being here for like twenty minutes, you are stupider than I thought you were. We are totally riding that octopus thing,” Kevin says,squinting as the people around them seem to become denser. He tightens his grip on the pasty idiot in his hands, startling himself when the pads of his fingers brush the _bare skin_ of Sami’s shoulders. Kevin glares down at the offending inferno, realizing that he had inadvertently slipped his **fingers** down the collar of Sami’s t-shirt.

(which **_he_ ** doesn’t actually seemed to have **noticed** )

(why hasn’t **_he_ ** noticed?)

Sami lets out a breathy sigh that makes Kevin’s head feel fuzzy, practically sighing out his name in a way that should be fucking _illegal_.

- _why?_ -

(no.)

“What if I get sick? Motion sickness is-”

“You can go wait in the car,” Kevin says pointedly, though he doesn’t take his hands off of Sami’s shoulders.

(it's a big crowd)

(if his stupid ass gets lost, I’ll be the one who has to hunt him down)

- _just **want**_ -

(no)

Sami just shakes his head, turning in Kevin’s grip and lacing their fingers together.

“No. I want to stay with you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Oh Kevin.  
>    
>  _Kevin._
> 
> I mean, really? For fucks' sake.
> 
> The amount of deluded idiocy going on in this fic right now. Goddamn. Not that Sami is much better here (ilu bby!Sami. Kevin is an asshole) but fucking seriously. They make everything so much harder on themselves when they do things like this. They can never just enjoy something together. It always has to be MORE and EVERYTHING and FOREVER. Which inevitably turns into ALWAYS and OVERWHELMING and TOO MUCH.
> 
> Because they are dumb bbys and I love them and am eternally exasperated by them.
> 
> Anyway, hope you liked it and have a good week!


End file.
